I do have beliefs. We all do. You either know something is true or false, or you believe it to be either true or false. You have certain evidence of something, or you trust your instincts and inclinations regarding the truth or falsity of something. That is simply what the words mean. But, keep in mind that even science is based on beliefs, presumptions held to be true unless consistently proven not true.
I realize everything about the operation of the universe, including every human action, can probably be proven to work in a determined manner. That means somewhere in that system we need admit that human freedom is an illusion. But, “probably be proven” means it is not either proven or disproven. We cannot prove a god anymore than disprove a god. That is why it is a matter of faith, trust, belief.
I trust there is meaning to the universe, to e, and you, and everything else above and beyond whatsoever we can empirically prove. That is a matter of trust in the universe; a trust that all that is is not just by some urge or force to become, a will to live, a will to power, but that that force, or whatever you wish to call it, is reflected in what I am: a creature with not only the will to live, but to care about others, to be with others, to love, to strive to know and understand myself and my world.
Religions have always presented pictures of that in a very anthropomorphic way, and the accusations of atheists that God is just a projection of humanity’s vision of itself carries real weight. It is, however, not a dis-proof, because as noted above, we are in an area where we cannot prove anything.
I believe the beginning and end of all that is, is and always will be a mystery wrapped in a mystery. No mind or heart shall ever penetrate that veil. Yet the world is full of god-talk. When I speak of God, the Divine, The Absolute Good and True and Perfect, etc. I am referring to that which is somehow the foundation on which or from out of which all that is is, and by which, in which, and to and for which everything is. God is not merely another name for the universe (pantheism), God is not a container in which the universe exists (panentheism), but God somehow is the above and below, and the outermost bound and the inner most core of each and every thing.
Western theology usually speaks of knowing about god in a negative way (what god is not) or in an analogical way (god compared to human). That is how we end up talking about an almighty and perfect person. But any good theology admits “might” and “perfection” and “personality” are here merely handles to describe something beyond description, something beyond power, something beyond values, something beyond being a person. These categories are our own highest categories for ourselves. We do not have any words or tools to indicate something that makes those categories pale. Oriental religions often try and speak of the Void, Nirvana, Nothingness, but those are not empty words, words meant to indicate nothing, but words meant to indicate “No-thing”; they are just more attempts to say something about that for which we can really say no-thing definitive.
I worship God the “font of life”, “in light inaccessible”, “in which we live and breathe and have our being”, “whose power working in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine” when I live my moments and days as nurturing of life as possible, when I am ever thankful for all the good, for all the opportunities and vistas that are given me, when I can joyfully look at all that makes up my life, when I say YES to me, my life, my world, despite all the pitfalls and detritus, YES. And I can address that as God because it is that God that address me as the ultimate basis from which I spring, in which I am, and into which I will dissolve.
St. Paul said that a Christian is one who puts on the identity of being God’s delegate to the world (in Greek that word is “christ”), one who understands oneself to be not just a creature, but a Child of God, sharing in the creativity of the Divine, revealing and caring and nurturing of the Divine, one who allows oneself to be a “life giving spirit” for others, for all.
As for what comes after this life, what, if anything exists beyond the few dimensions that we can sense or understand, I do not know. Does it matter? I think that as we are evolving beings, we all, some more than others, have awareness, an instinct, that there are dimensions the body cannot sense, the mind cannot comprehend; yet there is a sense of them. Illusion? Delusion? Test the belief. Does it make you more trusting, does it give you hope, does it move you out of self-centeredness to being caring and loving? If the answer is yes, then treat it as a gift to be cherished, but realize that it is for your use, not for your understanding. Does the painter understand the ability to paint? Does the musician understand the capacity to make music? Gifts are for using, for celebrating. Test, and if it rings true, cherish.